Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this just has baby written all over it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
