idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
