dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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