If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
