i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
