If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
