Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
