I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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