carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
