is your mom at the bar?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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