It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
