I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
