Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My feet surprised me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
