i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
