I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
