You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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