waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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