i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
