I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
