You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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