smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
