zippers are such a cool invention
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
