Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
