After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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