I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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