haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
