Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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