i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
