Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This house was built for laser tag.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
