You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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