An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They took my balls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
