do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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