forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
