Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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