i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize