I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
