therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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