curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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