omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
