Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
