you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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