are you so shy because you have an std?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
