he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
