It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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