Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
