You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
