____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
