wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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