I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
