Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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