I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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