If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
