I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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