So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
