The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
